Found You Again
by thecosmicwind
Summary: They haven't seen each other in eight years and never thought a tragic incident would bring them together again. But with Benson and Stabler, reunions can never be simple. Set in current day. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone!**

 **I'm here again with a new one shot. This idea was on a list of one-shot ideas I have in my notes on my phone. Set in current day. Elliot and Olivia haven't seen each other in eight years, but they're brought back together by a tragic incident.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Found You Again [ONESHOT]**

"It's only eleven and it's so slow; must mean we'll get out of here on time tonight."

"Yo, shut up before you jinx it!"

"Yeah Rollins, every time you say something about it being a slow day, it ends up being the worst day of our lives."

Olivia was chucking to herself as she approached the squad room, listening to the distinct voices of her detectives and Sergeant as they engaged in conversation. It was Monday, and Mondays at SVU were sometimes slow so like the three individuals that were chatting away together, she too was hoping the days would be slow because she desperately wanted to get off at a decent time. She had just finished with briefings down at 1-P-P, updating folks on cases for SVU, and now she was finally heading into the squad room. She still had on her uniform jacket with all her decorations and such, and her hair was pulled back into a tight bun.

She turned the corner and crossed the threshold into the squad room. Unis were floating through doing their normal work and at the desks towards the middle of the room were her detectives, who were still chatting away together.

"I hope all this chatter means there's finished 'Fives on my desk." She teased as she approached them all. They all smiled and a jumbled chorus of _'Hey Liv'_ , _'What's up Liv'_ and _'Morning Lieu'_ could be heard. Olivia smiled as she perched herself on the edge of Fin's desk.

"'Fives are on your desk, boss, so it's all good," Fin smirked, "We were just telling Rollins not to jinx our day; it's slow around here and she mentioned it, and you know what happens whenever she points out that it's a slow day."

"Yeah, we end up having the worse days possible," Olivia chuckled as she shot a glance to her blonde detective; "Rollins, no more mentions about the slow day."

"One-P-P still up your ass or it's all good?" Fin wondered as he looked up at her.

"They're always gonna be up my ass for whatever reason, especially Dodds," Olivia replied with a roll of her eyes; "But thankfully, we're all good. Everyone's impressed with SVU, and we even might get an award at the Policeman's Ball this year." They all shared a laugh together at the mention of such; it certainly wasn't uncommon for the Manhattan Special Victims Unit to receive such high praises at the Policeman's Ball every year. Their case closure rate was one of the highest in the city, and everyone was especially impressed at Olivia's leadership of such an elite unit. Olivia was certainly proud of herself for overcoming the obstacles she had been faced with and making her way to this time of being Lieutenant.

Leaving her detectives to chat, she made her way into her office. She removed her uniform jacket with all its decorations and draped it across the sofa, then pulled on her grey blazer that complimented the grey shirt and black skinny trousers she was wearing. She clipped her _Lieutenant_ shield back to her belt, sighing to herself as she looked around this office.

Sometimes it was a little surreal, being in this office for an entirely different reason than she used to be. For her first fourteen and a half years in this unit, she was often in this office for reasons that usually meant she was in trouble. For twelve of those years, she often had a tall, blue eyed hot head beside her, often in just as much trouble as she was. She would cover for him, he would cover for her. The man that once had this office would serve as the mediator during those fights with the blue-eyed hot head that had once been her very best friend.

She didn't think about him as much as she used to. She went through stages after receiving the shocking news of his retirement. She was first in denial about it, refusing to believe that he had actually walked away. She moved from denial to questioning, asking herself how he could just walk away and not say goodbye to her. Questions turned to anger, especially when she was left with these rookies to train and was forced to clean out his desk. Anger turned to sadness, and that stage lasted for quite a while. She finally moved into the acceptance stage around the time she began dating Brian Cassidy again.

But still, just because she didn't think about him as much, didn't mean she didn't miss him still. She wanted nothing more than for him to comfort her throughout the Lewis saga, or for him to be there for the big milestones such as promotions and the adoption of her son. She sometimes wondered where he was and what he was doing, really. She wasn't angry anymore or even sad. She accepted that they would probably never see each other again. She just hoped that wherever he was in the world, that he was happy. She hoped that his kids had grown into the wonderful people they were meant to be. She hoped that he and his wife were happy even though they had begun having problems again while he was still working with her.

She just hoped that he was _happy._

Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone began buzzing. She rummaged through her bag and whipped it out before pressing it to her ear; "Lieutenant Benson."

She listened intently to the information she was being told, scribbling some things down on a slip of paper. She responded with a _'we're on our way'_ before then hanging up the phone before rushing back into the squad room.

"There's been a shooting at Saint Michael's Prep in the elementary building, multiple injuries, at least three kids are on their way to the hospital so far," she explained; "Fin and Carisi, go to the school, me and Amanda will head to the hospital."

"So much for our slow day." Fin muttered, sighing as the four of them made their way out of the squad room.

* * *

The squad car came to a screeching halt outside of the Mercy General Emergency entrance. Olivia ripped the keys out of the ignition and jumped out along with Amanda. They pulled on her police jackets, then made her way inside. Doctors and nurses were rushing around and barking orders; the two cops flashed their badges as she made her way further into the emergency room.

"How are the kids?" Olivia asked their familiar doctor, Doctor Edwards. She sighed, shaking her head.

"More and more are arriving; a couple are in surgery now while there's a couple who escaped with minor injuries and are waiting for parents," she looked around at the chaos that was slowly consuming the emergency room; "This is b-"

She and Olivia were interrupted by the sound of more emergency responders rushing in and shouting about there being another child who had a gunshot wound to the shoulder and had lost a lot of blood. Olivia looked, but her eyes went wide.

She knew this little boy.

The blonde curls, the facial structure that reminded her so much of someone she hadn't seen in so long; this little boy looked exactly like him.

And her worst fear was confirmed when she heard the name;

"Eleven-year-old Eli Stabler…

Her face went pale and she felt the bile rising in her throat. The son of her former partner had been shot and was now being rushed into the trauma area, in seemingly critical condition. She almost felt like she couldn't breathe. This was a little boy whose life she saved when he was a baby, when she helped deliver him after being in a car accident with his mother. She hadn't seen him in a very long time now but hearing the name and seeing him in such a condition made her want to faint.

"Liv, you okay?"

She whipped her head around to look at her detective, whom was watching her with a concerned face. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She just felt numb, so weirdly numb.

Amanda took grabbed hold of her arm; "Take a minute, and I'll go see the other kids."

Olivia simply nodded, watching as Amanda wandered off. She stood there for a moment to try and compose herself so that she could do her work, but her heart dropped even more when she heard the doctors surrounding Eli shouting about needing A-positive blood. Olivia knew she had to think about work but right now, that didn't matter. She needed to help him again.

"Doctor Edwards!" She stopped the doctor who was rushing down the hall. She rushed up to her and glanced in the direction of the he trauma area where they had just wheeled him.

"I'm A-positive; let me help him." She replied. Doctor Edwards didn't ask questions at all. She simply rushed Olivia to the correct area to donate blood, and Olivia didn't even think twice. She had to help Eli. No matter what, she was going to try and save his life again. Damn the consequences; she needed to help.

A couple of hours later, Olivia had donated some blood and had just finished interviewing another victim when Doctor Edwards approached her. She told Amanda to wait, then moved to the side with the doctor so that they could talk.

"Eli is out of surgery. It was touch and go for a while because he did lose a lot of blood; the bullet nicked an artery, but you donating blood actually saved him," she leaned in a bit; "Son of your former partner, isn't he?"

Olivia nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat; "Yeah."

"I thought so, he looks like him," the doctor replied; "Mother is on her way from Allentown, and Dad is on his way; he had been working and didn't know anything about what was going on." She gestured towards the room; "He's resting, and his older sister is in with him; you can go see him if you like; if you aren't in a rush."

Olivia had so many questions. Kathy was in Allentown? Why were Eli and Elliot here? Or was she just there on business? She was wondering, but now wasn't the time for it. She simply nodded her head and thanked the doctor before going back into the waiting room where Amanda was.

"Hey Amanda, I'm gonna go interview another one of the kids," she glanced in the direction of Eli's room; "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, Liv; I'll call you when I'm done interviewing the nine-year-old," Amanda smiled, nodding her head as she added; "I'm sure your old partner and his wife appreciate what you're doing for their son."

Olivia swallowed; she didn't even think Amanda had picked up on anything. Amanda squeezed her arm before wandering off, and Olivia took a moment to compose herself. She went back down the hall and slowly made her way into the hospital room. The little boy whom she remembered so vividly was lying there with a bandage wrapped around his shoulder and with his arm in a sling. He was fast asleep without a care in the world. Sitting on the chair beside his bed was a blonde-haired woman who Olivia remembered as being the sassy fifteen-year-old when she first met her all those years ago. She looked up, and her lips curled into a smile as she stood up.

"Olivia, oh my God," she breathed out as she made her way over; "It's been so long… _too_ long." She threw her arms around the seasoned police officer, who wrapped her own arms back around her for a hug.

"It has been a very long time," Olivia breathed out, squeezing her before pulling back while holding her arms; "How are you Maureen?"

"I'm doing good, can't complain…busy being a wife and mom and nurse," the young woman let out a laugh, "And you? _Lieutenant."_ She winked, and Olivia laughed as she finally let her go.

"Well, I'm good; the job was busy anyway but it's worse now that I _am_ Lieutenant, but I'm busy being that and a mother too, gets a little challenging but I manage," she sat herself on the other chair on the other side of the bed; "Wow, you're married with a baby? I still remember that fifteen-year-old that used to give Elliot so much hell."

"I still do give him hell, just at the age of thirty-four now," Maureen winked before shrugging, "But yeah, married my college sweetheart Kenny about six years ago, and we have a little girl; she's three and a sassy little thing, I think she got it from me." She giggled a bit before tilting her head, tucking some hair behind her hear.

"That's so great, honey; I'm so proud of the woman you've grown into and I'm happy for you," Olivia smiled, nodding her head; "Elliot and Kathy are actual grandparents? This is great."

"They're cool grandparents too, but don't tell them I said that," Maureen smirked before continuing; "And you? Tell me about your little kiddo and the lucky guy that gets to come home to Badass Benson."

Olivia gave her a small smile, shrugging; "His name is Noah and he's six; I adopted him when he was a baby so it's just me and him."

"Aw wow, I didn't know," Maureen immediately gave an apologetic smile, "But that's so great. I'm really happy for you, Olivia; you've always been great with kids."

"Thanks honey, I try my best." Olivia replied, giving Maureen a happy smile.

A silence fell over the two women for a bit, then Maureen spoke up; "The doctor told me that an old family friend donated blood to save the squirt, and I somehow just had it in my head that it was you but then I thought that maybe I was crazy," she eyed Olivia, "But I see the bandage on your arm, and…" She trailed off, her eyes welling up as she glanced back her baby brother. Olivia gave a small smile, trying not to get emotional herself.

"It's crazy how life works," she breathed out, "What's weird is when we got the call, I was about to send one of my detectives here while I went to the school but something in me made me change my mind; I can't explain it…" She paused, her eyes scanning Eli's appearance, "Maybe I was meant to be here today to help him, because I would've always done anything for you kids, no matter how long it's been."

"You've always been a savior to us, always there when we needed you," Maureen nodded, "I'm sorry how things turned out, with Dad and stuff."

Olivia shook her head, holding up her hand as she smiled; "It's okay Maureen; trust me." She opened her mouth to speak again when a quiet mumbling as heard. Blues and browns flicked to the little boy in the bed, who was slowly opening his eyes. The blue eyes settled on the matching blues at first, and he uttered a quiet, "Mo-Mo."

"Hey squirt, you scared the hell out of me," Maureen chuckled a bit as a tear trickled down her cheek, "You're okay. Dickie and Lizzie are on their way, and Katie is on a plane on her way, and so are Mom and Dad."

Eli nodded his head, before turning his head to the side. His blue eyes settled on Olivia, and he tilted his head to the side; "I think I know you."

"Do you?" She quietly asked as she exchanged a quick glance with Maureen.

"I think so," he used his free hand to rub his head, quietly mumbling; "What happened?"

"You were hurt, sweetie; a shooting at your school," she placed a hand over his; "You're okay. Are you in any pain?"

"No...no pain; I can't feel it." Olivia knew that he couldn't feel it because of the pain medicine. She gave a small, tight lipped smile, and watched as Eli blinked before he looked at her again; "What's your name?"

"You don't remember her, squirt?" Maureen asked. Eli looked at her in confusion then looked at Olivia, studying her for a second before replying; "I don't think so."

Olivia laughed a bit before quietly speaking; "My name is Olivia."

"Olivia," Eli whispered to himself before speaking again, "My dad used to be a police officer, and his old partner was named Olivia..." He stopped, squinting as he looked at her; "You look like her."

He studied her some more, and then spoke up again; "Wait...Olivia Benson?"

Olivia smiled some more, nodding her head; "Yeah, that's me," she folded her arms on the bed as she leaned on them; "Do you remember me?"

"My mom said you saved me and her when I was a baby, but I don't remember that, but I think I can remember you coming to our old house sometimes when I was little," he gave her a small smile; "Dad has two pictures of you and him on his refrigerator at our place."

Olivia swallowed the emotion that had built, trying her hardest not to cry; "That's really cool," She paused for a moment, then quietly spoke, "Eli...I'm sorry I haven't seen you in a long time."

"S'okay," Eli replied, still smiling at her; "Are you still a police officer?"

"Yeah, I am," she leaned back a bit and unclipped her badge, "This badge? It means that I'm a _Lieutenant_ ; I'm the boss of my squad."

"Whoa, that's so cool; a real lady cop...one that's the boss." He spoke with pure astonishment in his eyes, taking the badge into his hand. He was running his thumb over the badge and Olivia smiled. His eyes were full of wonder, but she could see the hint of fear present in them. She knew he had experienced far too much today, more than an eleven-year-old should, and she hated that he had to experience such.

"Sweetie, can you tell me what happened?"

Eli nodded and took a deep breath, before launching into an explanation while fiddling with her badge the whole time. He spoke about how he had been in his class when the shots rang out, and now before he or his classmates could move to safety, the gunman opened fire again and some stray bullets pierced the walls of the room and hit him and a couple of his friends. He mentioned that he didn't get a look at the person and that he had been very scared, and that the last thing he remembered was his teacher trying to help him. Olivia figured that, that was when he passed out. She nodded her head and told him how brave he was while looking at Maureen, who had pursed her lips together as she tried not to cry. She reached over and stroked her arm, giving her a comforting smile. Maureen opened her mouth to speak, when they were suddenly interrupted.

"Eli!"

"Dad!"

Olivia watched as the man rushed over and hugged his son as best he could as well as his oldest daughter. He clearly had not noticed her yet, so she took the opportunity to take in his appearance. He was thinner but still muscular, his dark hair has greyed a bit and he was sporting a salt and pepper shaved beard on his face. He was wearing jeans and boots and a t-shirt under his jacket.

"You okay buddy?" He asked the little boy.

"I'm okay, Dad," Eli gestured towards Maureen; "Mo-Mo was here when I woke up, and so was she, it's Olivia." He pointed to Olivia, who suddenly froze as she watched them.

She watched as the man froze as well, then finally turned his head. It was then that for the first time in eight years, the familiar blue eyes had locked with her brown ones, and for a moment, it felt like they were back in the thralls of the intense yet beautiful partnership that had gone on for almost thirteen years.

"Olivia." He whispered, staring at her in shock.

She gave a shy smile; "Hi Elliot."

She stood up, looking at him properly as he too stood up straight. She wondered for a long time what she would've done if she ever ran into it him. Would she cry? Would she be happy? Would she punch him? Would she hug him? So many questions, so many conflicted emotions. Now was not the time to express her concerns of course, but there was so much to talk about with this man. They had been apart for so long, but in their eyes, so much was being spoken. _'I miss you' 'I'm sorry'_.

Flashes of the past were present between them. Fights, Gitano, Oregon, Eli's birth, Rojas, Sonya's death. The happier times presented themselves; nights spent laughing in the break room over Chinese food, playing catch with bits of paper as they sat at their desks, nights spent on the roof, relaxing after a long case, avoiding all the responsibilities and paperwork that seemed to wait for them.

He remembered ignoring her calls as he lost himself. She remembered sobbing in an interrogation room when she found out he had retired. He remembered stuffing the mini badge, the note, and the medallion into an envelope. She remembered pouring the contents onto her desk, clipping that badge to her gun and slipping that medallion around her neck.

So much between them. So much time had passed. They never knew how they would meet again and certainly didn't think it would be like this.

But of course, in typical Benson and Stabler fashion, they would come back together in some fucked up way such as this.

"The doc said a blood transfusion saved him," Elliot spoke after a few moments; "Said an old friend donated blood to save my son."

Olivia nodded, holding her arm out to show the bandage on her arm from where she'd donated her blood. Blue eyes flicked from the bandage, to the brown eyes. They were tired, weathered with experiences and pain and effects of life, yet they sparked and reminded him of the woman he used to know. It was still her. Grown up and more experienced, but it was her.

"You...you saved my son." His voice was full of disbelief, and tears welled in his eyes. Olivia nodded, giving him a small smile.

She was taken aback when he suddenly pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. She found herself wrapping her arms around him, squeezing him tightly while her eyes were squeezed shut. So much time had passed between them, yet she felt like she was back in the hospital on that day Eli was born, when he hugged her for the first time. His chin was over her shoulder, his warm breath was tickling her skin, his hands were bunched into the material of her shirt. Her hands were bunched into the material of his jacket and her head was leaned on his shoulder.

Nothing had changed.

They pulled apart and looked at each other, still holding onto one another's arms.

"We need to talk."

"I know," she swallowed and cleared her throat; "I...I have so much to tell you."

Elliot went to speak again, but they were interrupted when Olivia's phone began buzzing, snapping them from the little bubble they'd slipped into. She pulled her hands away and whipped her phone from her back pocket, resuming professional mode as she spoke;

"Lieutenant Benson."

She listened for a few moments then responded with a simple; "Okay I'm on my way."

She slipped the phone back into her pocket then looked at Elliot. He was smiling; she could see the proud look on his face as he watched her.

" _Lieutenant Benson_ ; that sounds good," he squeezed her arms; "It's really great to see you, Olivia; I'm proud of you."

She smiled, squeezing his bicep; "Thanks Elliot, that means a lot…and it's great to see you too."

She pulled her police jacket back on then took her badge from Eli, clipping it back into her belt once again. She then leaned down and hugged the little boy, pressing a light kiss to his cheek as she did so.

"Take care of yourself, Eli; I'll hopefully see you soon."

Eli gave her that Stabler smile that matched his father's; "You too Olivia, see you soon...and thank you."

Olivia smiled before moving around to hug Maureen, who also whispered a _thank you_ in her ear as well. She then turned to Elliot again and gave his arm a light squeeze, her eyes sparkling as she watched him. He nodded, before giving her a quick hug.

"Call me? I'll answer this time."

She let out a laugh and pulled away from him. She quickly wrote her number on a bit of paper and handed it to him.

"You call me, maybe we can do lunch one day."

Elliot smiled, nodding his head; "I'd like that."

Olivia smiled and bid them both farewell before leaving the room. Life really did have a funny way of working out. A tragic event had somehow brought her back to the former partner she hadn't seen in so long, and despite the circumstances, she was glad to have finally seen him again after so long. She knew there needed to be a conversation, one that would probably be tough for them both, but for now, she was just glad to have seen him again and at the idea of possibly having lunch with him, a time to talk like the old times.

They had found each other again, and hopefully this time, there would be no letting go.

* * *

 _ **Leave some reviews please guys. Let me know what you think and let me know if you'd like a second part, I'm on the fence about it. Love you guys. Until next time...xoxo**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey you guys!**

 **I bet you thought I forgot about this? I didn't ;)**

 **Part 2 of Found You Again. Elliot and Olivia finally have a chat, and Olivia finds out why Elliot resigned from the NYPD.**

 **Enjoy xoxo**

* * *

 **Found You Again**

 **Part 02**

Work was hectic for the next two weeks or so.

Following the case with the school shooting, an influx of cases seemed to roll through the Special Victims Unit for whatever reason. The cases were huge; the lieutenant and her squad were running themselves ragged. Sleep was a few hours in the cribs or some hours at home, before the phone would ring again and they were forced to tend to another victim at the hospital or another victim at a crime scene. The folks at One Police Plaza were on Olivia's back about the cases that had rolled in, which meant that Olivia was on the back of her squad as they all worked together. It was tough, and they were tired, but their case closure rates had never been higher or faster.

Over the couple weeks – due to her busy schedule – she and Elliot had barely been able to talk to each other, let alone actually make plans to meet up. They had text here and there, but a lot of her time was spent away from her phone as she ran the streets with her squad or tried to rest in between the work. She had text Elliot at some point to apologize for her slow responses and promised to talk to him properly soon, to which he replied that he understood and that he would be right there to answer as soon as she was free. For Olivia, she was looking forward to actually talking to him and getting an understanding of where he had been or what had happened.

It was Monday again and it was noon; Olivia had just walked back into the precinct following a meeting at One Police Plaza about the cases that the Special Victims Unit had solved over the last couple weeks. She undid the buttons on her jacket as she walked through the doors, giving a head nod to her the squad as she approached them.

"One-P-P off your back?" Sonny asked as he leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, thank God," Olivia breathed out, smiling to herself as she knocked her fist against Fin's; "We did good guys; my dream team."

"Always got your back, Liv." Amanda told her.

"We do," Fin chimed in before nodding towards her office; "You got a couple visitors in your office; we told them they could wait since you'd be back soon."

"Oh fuck; I can't possibly be in trouble already, not when I just got back from One-P-P." she burst out, sending them all off laughing while she simply groaned to herself as she hurried into her office. However, she suddenly stopped when she realized that this wasn't a professional call at all and that she wasn't actually in trouble.

Leaned against the file cabinet with his arms folded across his chest was Elliot.

He looked so incredibly handsome in a pair of jeans and sneakers along with a t-shirt under a leather jacket, with the salt and pepper beard still trimmed, matching his salt and pepper hair. He had a pair of black rimmed glasses over his eyes, and his smile lit up his face as his blue eyes locked with hers.

"You always did look pretty good in uniform." He winked. She let out a laugh, shaking her head as she made her way around her desk to drop her bag into her chair.

"I've always hated dressing up like this, it annoys me," she draped the jacket over her chair and removed her tie as well which she had teamed with the crisp navy blue blouse she was wearing; "Sorry – I didn't know you were coming by; I was down with the bosses at One-P-P…" she then shot Elliot a look as he raised an eyebrow; "Not in trouble; just praising my skills as CO."

"In other words – they're kissing your ass?" he smirked.

"Yep," she laughed a bit as she pulled on her black blazer which teamed better with her skinny trousers and boots combo, "Anyway, what brings you by? I was gonna call you."

"Just thought I'd come by and see if you wanted to get some coffee; thought I'd show my face instead of calling you." He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pocket.

"You're really trying to say on my good side," she smirked as he rolled his eyes; "Okay seriously, coffee does sound good and we do need to talk, so I'll tell Fin to hold down the fort." She grabbed her phone and her wallet, before making her way out of her office with Elliot behind her. She told Fin to hold things down and to call if they needed her, though he gave her a cheesy smile and told her they would only call if it was absolutely necessary, which led to her rolling her eyes and playfully shoving him in the shoulder. She and Elliot then made their way to the elevators, both of them starting to feel the nerves build as it dawned on them both that they were about to step into dangerous waters in regard to what had happened over the years.

But they needed to have this conversation; it couldn't be put off anymore.

They walked the two blocks to the diner in silence, and once inside, they made their way over to a booth in the corner. The waitress greeted them both with a smile and took their orders of coffee before then walking away. The pair then turned to each other; blues and browns locked as they had done so many times over late-night meals in greasy cop diners, over their desks as they worked on paperwork, in the car as they drove down the streets of the city. Their eyes spoke the things that could not be verbalized and held secrets that only they knew.

And even though it had been seven years, they still felt that connection, even now.

"So…"

"So…"

They both shared a small smile and let out a laugh, before Elliot then spoke; "I am sorry, you know."

"I stopped being mad at you a few years ago, but it is nice to hear an apology…" she paused as the waitress returned with their coffees before walking away again; "Still like it plain black?"

"You know it," he gave her a nod before watching as she reached for the sugar and cream; "Still like it with a cream and two sugars?"

"You remembered it right." She nodded, smiling at him as she stirred the contents into her cup. She then looked up at him again, tilting her head to the side as she spoke;

"Elliot…what happened? We were…we were so…you told me everything, I told you everything; we knew each other inside out, we were connected, you were my best friend and I thought I was yours too…"

She flicked her gaze to the table for a second then back up at him again; "Why'd you shut me out?"

"Olivia, you gotta know that it was never the intention – not to shut you out the way I did, and there's no excuse or amount of apologizing that can make up for me missing so many milestones in your life, for not even calling you when that…that…monster-"

"Hey…hey don't, please don't mention him," she held her hand up, shuddering, "I just…I'd rather not; but…I won't lie and pretend I didn't wish it was you that had saved me; I wanted you to find me – I even told him that you'd have known what to do, that you would've kicked his teeth in and everything."

"I would have ripped him apart with my bare hands for hurting you," he sighed, taking a moment to calm down; "I did send you some flowers, but I sent them to the precinct because-"

"White daisies and pink carnations?" she asked. He nodded his head and she smiled at him yet again; "I got them and I loved them; they survived in my new place for like three months – the longest I have ever kept a plant alive."

Elliot laughed, rubbing his hand over his jaw; "I'm glad you liked them, and I'm glad you took care of them." He paused to take a sip of his coffee before he continued; "There's just…a lot to tell you; I just need you to listen."

"I'm listening," she folded her arms on the table; "Start from the beginning; May seventeenth, twenty-eleven."

"You know what happened that day…" he sighed, shaking his head for a brief moment before continuing;

"I remember just looking up as that son of a bitch was taunting her, and she raised her gun, and you said something and I just kept thinking that she was gonna turn any minute and aim at you and pull the trigger, and I couldn't let that happen, so I fired…I never meant to kill her, just to disable and disarm her."

He took a moment to compose himself;

"I remember her bleeding out in my arms, I remember looking over at you; there was blood all over your hands and this horrified look on your face; and then it just…it starts to get blurry because I zoned out. I remember giving my gun to Cragen, and I remember coming into the locker room and helping you wash the blood off your hands, and then I just hugged you, trying to wrap my head around what happened while thanking God that you were alive."

Olivia gave a small smile as she nodded, her voice coming out no higher than a whisper as she spoke; "I remember that." She remembered the feeling of being held in his strong arms with her head tucked under his chin as they held each other in the privacy of the locker room, clinging to each other, thanking God they were alive.

"I had every intention on talking to you in a few days, I just figured it would take that long to get my head together; I didn't know that everything that had built up from years on the force would hit me all at once; this shooting had finally tipped me over the edge and I just…I lost myself; I shut down on Kathy – which I was already starting to do – shut down on my kids, but I shut down on you, and I never meant to do that, and for that I am so sorry."

He paused to take a sip of coffee, before then taking a breath as he continued.

"I was cleared after a few days, but I still wasn't talking to anyone – not to you, not to Cragen; nobody – one week turned into two, which turned into a month, which turned into three months; and I just wouldn't talk to anyone. Kathy left me in that time and took Eli and left me there in that house on my own, with all the thoughts and the nightmares and just…all the pain and despair."

"Elliot," she breathed; "I'm so sorry, I wish I had known-"

"No…don't apologize; this one is on me," he told her, holding his hand up to stop her;

"Anyway, then Cragen called and asked would I meet him at the Internal Affairs building to talk about what to do next. I agreed, and we met; right away I asked about you and he told me you were doing alright, and you were adjusting, but that you were a little ticked with him because you had come in as IAB were leaving his office. I asked him about it, and that's when he told me the demands for me to keep my job – a psych eval, anger management, and Internal Affairs wanted to go over my entire jacket because it was my sixth shooting."

Olivia nodded; she remembered that conversation in her Captain's office on that August afternoon – the one where she had been so incredibly angry as she felt like that Captain was feeding Elliot to the wolves, and she had wanted to do everything she could to save him from being eaten alive.

"I just…I felt like I was drowning, Olivia; all these demands for me to come back to a job that was taking everything out of me when really the only thing keeping me there was you; as long as I had you, then everything was safe, and I could get through it."

He ran his hand down his face while Olivia simply waited for whatever he was going to say next, silently encouraging him along;

"Anyway, me and Cragen were talking and I told him that I loved being a cop, and I wanted to see you, talk to you, and maybe work out a transfer to another unit after we talked…and that's when it gets…it gets weird."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I want you to know that I'm not saying this for you to go hunt either of them down and go off on one because really, they were just looking out for you and-"

"Elliot, just tell me!"

"Okay," he nodded, breathing out;

"Tucker came up, and he and Cragen were talking to me; I agreed to the anger management and psych eval, but I also said I wanted to talk to you first and tell you my plan of transferring; I could still work NYPD but just not in Special Victims, because I couldn't take it anymore."

Olivia nodded; she could understand that. Special Victims took a special kind of detective to work in and truthfully, the average span of a detective in that unit was three years. She and Elliot had both well and truly surpassed that limit, so it was no wonder that he had become burned out in the end of it because – as many would say – nobody saw what they saw; it was truly the worst of the worst.

But now she was wondering what Cragen and Tucker had to do with this, and she had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Tucker was up our ass anyway, looking for reasons to either split us up or fire one of us or both of us; but when we were talking, Tucker mentioned something about no longer being able to protect you, that even if I did transfer to another unit, he would still be on us because he knew that even if we were apart, we would look out for each other and-"

"And that's not a lie, because I would have; you know I would have, you're my partner – no matter what." She told him, the fierce loyalty and protection evident in her voice. He gave her a soft smile; it was nice to know that some things hadn't changed with her.

"And I love that, because you know I would have always done the same thing," he told her; "But I guess they didn't like that; they started asking how much I cared about you, Cragen brought up that thing from Hendrix – the mutual reliance and emotional dependence, Tucker talked about how I went to hell and back to protect you when you were accused of murder and all that or the times I've been accused of abusing my power and how you fought to save my badge or how you fought to help Kathleen get help; just…they brought up everything.

He sighed and looked at her again; "Then Cragen told me…not in so many words but I got the idea…that I needed to let you go completely, that leaving the NYPD was best. He said something about you deserving better and you had so much potential to be great, to be a leader, and that I was holding you back from it. He didn't want you to destroy your career by trying to save me from a mess I created, and it wasn't fair on you to have Tucker on your ass because of me – which I agreed with in that respect, but the rest of it…I just, I don't know, Liv; I was in such a bad place mentally, that I started to believe that he was right."

"Elliot, I need you to know that you were never holding me back; I would've stayed your partner for as long as I could – you need to know that; I just wanted to be your partner, to walk those streets with you and fight; you were never holding me back."

"Maybe not intentionally," Elliot shrugged, lifting his gaze from his cup to look at her again; "But tell the truth, if I had stayed in the NYPD – whether in the unit or not – would you have ever made it to _Lieutenant –_ to the commanding officer of the unit that you eat, sleep, and breathe? Commanding officer of the unit that needs you as much as you need to be in it?"

Olivia hesitated because she couldn't answer that question. Part of her had always wondered that; she wondered sometimes if she would have gotten this far if Elliot had still been around. If she was being honest, she probably wouldn't have; if Elliot had stayed in NYPD but transferred, she would have probably put in her papers and transferred to wherever he was, so they could stay together because that was her comfort. The fact that he had retired and left the NYPD all together gave her no other choice but to face the unknown head on – become the senior detective of the unit, and later the Sergeant and now the Lieutenant of the unit that needed her just as much as she needed to be in it.

"No," she finally shook her head, blinking back the tears that had welled in her eyes; "I wouldn't have…I'll be honest."

"You always had been the more head strong one between the two of us, and I knew that I couldn't let something you had worked so hard for go up in flames or be jeopardized because of me, and I knew that you deserved to move on up," he shrugged, clasping his hands together around his mug; "So…so, I told Cragen and Tucker that I'd put my papers in, but with the promise that Tucker would leave you the hell alone and not fuck with your career, and I wanted Cragen to make sure you had a good partner and I wanted him to keep me updated."

Olivia swallowed hard, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. She was taken back to that day in the office, when Cragen told her with such a sad look in his eyes that Elliot had put his papers in. She thought about how she went to the interrogation room and sobbed her heart out, she thought about how Cragen pushed her to clear Elliot's desk just a couple days later when her new partner arrived. She thought about all the dinner dates with Tucker; he had asked her once if she ever heard anything from Elliot ever again; _"Hey - your old partner Stabler; you ever hear from him?"_ was a question he had asked one night, to which she scoffed and rolled her eyes before changing the subject as she didn't want to talk about him.

And now she knew the truth; they had both known all along, and while she could see that they were just looking out for her and pushing her into this role of being the commanding officer, it hurt that it had to be done like this.

But she still wanted to know why Elliot didn't at least call her or something.

"Don't be mad at Don or at Tucker, they were looking out for you." His voice broke into her thoughts, and she shook her head. She then raised an eyebrow;

"You'd normally beg me to knock Tucker out."

"I have spies, I know you dated him for like a year or so," he chuckled at the look of surprise on her face; "Hey, chill out; you were happy with him, weren't you?"

"For a little while anyway, until it got too serious and he started mentioning things about retiring together and all that."

"Yikes, one must learn that you can never get too serious with Badass Benson; she doesn't do super serious commitments." He joked, only to groan when she kicked him in the leg.

"You're still an ass," she rolled her eyes before continuing; "Okay…you've told me the backstory of you leaving, but you didn't tell me why you didn't at least talk to me? I get it you were in a bad place, but…what happened? You could have called me."

"I know, and I hold my hands up and say that I was a coward, I was too scared to talk to you about any of this, too scared to let you in," he sighed, pausing for a second;

"I did work up some nerve, a couple months after I put my papers in and a few weeks after I sent you the badge and the medallion; I worked up the courage to at least come to your apartment and see you. I was all prepared for you to open the door and punch me, and then I was gonna beg you to talk; all that. But…I had driven into the city and parked, and I looked up and noticed your light wasn't on yet, so I just figured I'd wait a bit to see if I could catch you when you came home. Well, I saw you…but…you looked so _happy;_ you were with a guy and you guys looked serious, and you just looked so happy and I couldn't…I couldn't wreck that for you, because you deserved to be happy."

"Elliot…" she pursed her lips together, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. He was referring to her relationship with the Executive ADA, David Haden; someone she had been really happy with and actually thought she could see a future with, until their jobs got in the way. She really had gotten back to herself with him, but the fact that Elliot stopped himself from coming to see her simply because he thought he would be ruining her happiness was something that actually made her feel sad.

"I saw you smile like I had never seen before, and you were laughing, and he was looking at you like he adored the hell out of you, and you were looking back at him like…like you felt the same, so I just left it alone. I watched you two go inside, I looked up as your light came on, and then I just silently prayed that you were truly happy before driving off."

He shrugged, taking a deep breath; "Saw Cragen a couple weeks later and he told me that you were fine and you were happy again, and he must have saw something in my eyes, because he asked me to just leave you be and to not bother you, because he didn't want to see you sucked back into whatever the thing was between me and you because you had finally seemed to move on from something you had been stuck in for thirteen years. I didn't know you felt stuck-"

"I didn't, I never felt stuck," she interrupted him, frowning slightly as she eyed him; "It was complicated, but it was _us_ – and that's what made it special."

"Still, I'm just so sorry for holding you from happiness, sorry for scaring your dates or being jealous; all of that."

"I never took any of that personally nor did I think you were holding me from my happiness, but that's another conversation for another day."

"Ditto," Elliot nodded, breathing out; "But anyway…I just, I'm just…there's no excuses, I'm sorry for being a coward and not talking to you, I'm sorry for still being a coward not making the extra effort to find you and be there for you after that sadistic bastard had you, and I'm just so sorry that I've missed out on so much of your life. I just…it was never meant to be like this, and I just hope you can forgive me."

Olivia gave a small smile, then reached over and squeezed his arm; "I do forgive you, Elliot; I forgave you a long time ago. To be honest, it'll take a while to get back to being close friends, but I have missed you and I want to be friends again – I want my best friend back."

"I want my best friend back too," he smiled before moving his hand, holding his fist out; "Partner?"

She giggled a bit, knocking her fist against his; "Partner."

The smile on his face couldn't have shown any brighter, and it made her smile as well.

The conversation moved on from such serious topics to lighter topics; they reminisced about the years they spent together, caught up on each other's lives, talked about each other's kids – to which Elliot almost cried as he was just so happy that Olivia was finally a mother. Before long, another half hour had passed, and Fin was calling Olivia to come back to the precinct as Chief Dodds was on his way over to talk to her. Olivia groaned to herself and rounded off the call, before standing up along with Elliot. He paid for their coffees and sweetly walked her back to the precinct.

As they walked together, he couldn't help but watch her. She was stronger and more confident than she had ever been when they walked these streets side by side. There was a certain bounce in her step, a leadership swag to her walk, a glow and aura around her that highlighted her growth and strength and comfort within herself. She was no longer the same person; she was not the Olivia he had left at this job seven years earlier. She was no longer _Detective Olivia Benson._

No – she was stronger, brighter, wiser. She was a leader. She was _Lieutenant Olivia Benson._

And he was so damn proud of her.

They stopped outside the entrance of the precinct, and she pulled him in for a warm hug. They both squeezed each other as tight as possible, sharing a hug that told each other how much they missed each other, but one that promised that it wouldn't be too long before they saw each other again.

"Go save the world." He told her, finally letting go of her.

"I plan on it." She chuckled as she made her way up the steps. He watched her for a second with a soft smile on his face before speaking;

"Liv…"

She turned, tilting her head; "Yeah?"

He gave her the sweetest smile, his blue eyes sparkling as he spoke; "I'm glad we've found each other again."

She nodded, smiling at him as her own eyes sparkled in the bright sunlight;

"I'm glad too, Elliot."

And with that, she gave a wave and headed back into the building. Elliot watched her for a second, before shoving his hand into his pocket as he strolled down the street to his car. He was truly proud of that woman, and he was truly glad to be in her life again, glad that she had given him a chance to make this right and that now, here they were again.

And this time, he had no intention of slipping away from her; never again.

* * *

 _ **Andddd I hope you all enjoyed this. Let me know what you guys thought about this, and I am sorry that it took so long! Thanks for all your support guys! Until next time xoxo**_


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